All About Query Letters

Today, I post my query letter for a roundtable discussion that will take place via Rachel Horwitz ‏@rachelhwrites on twitter. Scurry on over there if you would like to participate!!


This is my pitch for Yassa:


***Updated***

Dear Ms. XXX,

When Temujin is ten, he murders one of his half-brothers in self-defense. That one act of brutality shows him the animal that lives inside his heart, sets into motion a string of events that bring a boy named Jamuka into his life, and gives Temujin the idea to write the law he calls Yassa. He marries his betrothed, Börte, only to have her kidnapped a week later by a rival tribe and sold at auction.

Yassa law states that, above all else, you are to be loyal to those you pledge yourself to. There is only one punishment for breaking Yassa law: death. Deep conflict arises between Temujin and Jamuka when they go to rescue the beautiful and fair Börte from the kidnappers because Jamuka sees her, falls in love, and decides to take her for his own. In a fit of fever, Jamuka attacks Börte and tries to force himself on her. Setting aside the law for the love of a friend, Temujin casts the man out instead of killing him.


Jamuka is bent on revenge for being cast out and is driven to win Börte at any cost. As a result, the two men are plunged into battle over power and a woman. Love drives the conquering of the greatest continuous empire in History in the hopes that the victor will win the affections of Börte, who is being driven mad with her own choice while the men are crossing swords. Only one man can succeed and become Genghis Khan.

Yassa is a completed 90,000 word historical fiction novel set in 18th Century Mongolia.

Thank you for taking the time to read my query.

Sincerely,

Jo Michaels

I appreciate all feedback.

That's all for today, folks!!

Until next time, WRITE ON!!

Jo

Author Interviews are Fun!

I did an author interview with Jane Hanbury over at Booketta's Book Blog this week and I have to say, it was a lot of fun! I am rarely one to toot my own horn (a crux being an indie author) so talking about myself was difficult in a challenging type of way.

Jane asked me some difficult questions.

When in person, I can talk for hours about the story behind my historical fiction novel, Yassa. When asked to write out how I came up with the idea, I struggle. Not because I don't know, just because that question is hard to answer on paper. I know where the idea came from, but tooting my own horn about it is not something I am accustomed to doing.

I think I'm too humble. I love the story but I know it's not for everyone and I know there are people out there who will hate Temujin's wishy-washy personality. I just tried to make him human; because he is. We all make mistakes in life or do things we aren't proud of, so he is brought down a notch or two from almighty conqueror by having doubts about his relationship and reacting to situations in a way that's not acceptable.

There are people who will give me crap over Kutula and people who will argue that the story isn't quite true to History. I know that. It's fiction. I used my imagination.

There are people who will give me crap over Abigale and say that's not the way a 12 year old behaves. I know that, she's not an ordinary 12 year old. If she were, what a dull story it would be!

We write to spin tales for readers. If we didn't write, how dull would life be? Remember the movie, The Invention of Lying? It brings out a good point: without writers with imagination and the ability to tell a tale with some fiction in it, we would all be walking around dull, lifeless, BORING.

That's all for today. I am going to write the hell out of some books today!

If you haven't gotten your copy of The Abigale Chronicles - Book One, go get one now! It's great for young readers and has an element that will force them to stop and wonder what the heck is really going on.

Until next time, WRITE ON!!

Jo

He Said, She Said, Who Said What?

As you can probably tell, today I am talking about that thing we all shy away from - Dialogue.

What makes excellent dialogue? Well, many things do. First and foremost is the genuine accents and use of words. Let's explore that first, mkay?

Teenagers speak very differently from most adults. Unless your character is a grown woman who is trying very hard to fit in with a group of youngsters, she probably won't be using the words 'dude' or 'awesome' very often. Vernacular is also region specific. If a teen is from California, they will speak very differently than a teen from Louisiana.

Time for examples:

Heather is a teen from California having a conversation with a surfer on the beach.

"Catch a wave, Babe!" said Heather from the comfort of her towel on the sand.
When the surfer walked by, Heather's heart skipped a beat. He was gorgeous and she didn't know how else to break the ice.
"Tubular!" he said, waving.
Heather couldn't help herself and blurted out, "Is that like, pineapple sex wax I smell?"
"Hell yeah it is! Nothin' less than the best for my baby. That's like, pure ZOGS right there! You gonna ride the water today?"
"No. Not today. I'm like, feelin' bummy, you know?" Heather hated the ocean and was terrified of sharks but she didn't want him to know that.

June is a teen from Louisiana having a conversation with a surfer on the beach.

"Hey, nice surfboard!" said June from the comfort of her towel on the sand.
When the surfer walked by, June's heart skipped a beat. He was gorgeous and she didn't know how else to break the ice.
"Tubular!" he said, waving.
 June couldn't help herself and blurted out, "Come see! I wanna look at that board! What's 'tubular' mean?"
"Tubular. You know, like, in the tube? The water, Lady. The wave, you know? You gonna ride the water today?"
"Oh. No. Not today. I wanna lay here and get some sun, che." June hated the ocean and was terrified of sharks but she didn't want him to know that.

Now, from the first set of dialogue, you garner that the two understand one another and believe Heather is from California because of her easy way of speaking to the surfer. June is a little more awkward and doesn't seem to fit in. We know she's from somewhere else.

Let's do it again without the slang and see the results.

"Hey, nice surfboard!" said Marsha from the comfort of her towel on the sand.
When the surfer walked by, Marsha's heart skipped a beat. He was gorgeous and she didn't know how else to break the ice.
"Thanks!" he said, waving.
Marsha couldn't help herself and blurted out, "Can I see it?"
"Sure. I'm hoping to have a good time in the water today. Are you planning to surf at all?"
"No. Not today. I'm just laying in the sun today." Marsha hated the ocean and was terrified of sharks but she didn't want him to know that.

Not nearly as interesting, right?

Something else you can learn from the dialogue above is that it's not necessary to follow every line with he said, she said, or they said. You can communicate exactly who is speaking without dragging your reader down with unnecessary words. So you want your word count to be higher? Add chapters or paragraphs.

Remember that he, she, and they, refer to the last person named in the text. Mention the name often enough so your reader doesn't get confused (psssst, readers actually don't mind this).

That's all for today, folks. Remember to keep your eyes open for the release of Yassa on June 4, 2012!

If you haven't picked up your copy of The Abigale Chronicles - Book One, you should!! Free sampling at Smashwords and purchase for just $1.99!

Until next time, WRITE ON!!

Jo

Monkey Wrenches

Bring out the unexpected when you write. If you read your passage and have a good idea of what will happen next, flip it and make something else happen instead.

Readers don't like predictable. Predictable is boring.

If you have two people who are kissing and passionate, it may seem that they are about to make love. Why not have the police burst in instead? How about having one of them spontaneously burst into flames? I bet your reader won't be expecting that.

Why throw in a monkey wrench? It's what keeps your story moving and interesting. I use the technique in Yassa a number of times and my beta readers tell me it's a welcome surprise when the unexpected happens. They read about Jelme sitting with Kutula and some other friends and commenting on the harshness of color around the camp. How does Kutula teach Jelme to hold his tongue and be more polite?

What happens is the monkey wrench. You expect Kutula to grow angry and perhaps scold Jelme for being rude or maybe say something rude in return. But he doesn't do either of those things. What he does leaves a lasting impression on the youth about courtesy and proper manners and helps add an unexpected twist in the story.

This happens in life so why not in your story? You have a situation that you think will be perfect and something happens that you weren't expecting and messes it up. USE it in your fiction. We cannot expect the unexpected because then, by very definition, it would no longer BE unexpected.

Can we plan for emergencies? Yes. Is it the same thing? No. We look at what could happen and plan for that.

Example:

You have an emergency fund and/or insurance in case your car breaks down or a tree falls on your house, right? That's planning for something you would expect. What if an alien spacecraft comes to Earth and beams your house off the planet? Does your insurance cover that? I don't know. But it would certainly be unexpected.

You have an emergency fund and/or insurance in case your car breaks down or a tree falls on your house and a tree falls on your house. That was expected and planned for.

HUGE difference between the two. The first is the proverbial monkey wrench. Use your imagination. You're a writer because you can.

That's all for today!!

Don't forget to keep your eyes open for the release of Yassa on June 4, 2012!! If you read it for no other reason than to find out what Kutula did to Jelme, it'll be worth it!!

Go sample The Abigale Chronicles - Book One today from Smashwords! You won't be sorry that you did!

Until next time, WRITE ON!!!

Jo

When, How, Who, and What?

Those are the four questions we ask ourselves every day as writers.

When does our tale take place?
How is the feat accomplished?
Who are our characters?
What are those characters doing?

Those four questions are the basis for everything we write. If you aren't constantly asking yourself those questions, you're likely not really writing a compelling story. There must be action in every chapter. You have to keep your reader engaged and feeling something throughout the whole story. If you don't, they will lose interest and toss your book aside.

Are you having trouble with tension? Change a scene. Throw some obstacle in the path of your protagonist. That obstacle can be a rift in a relationship, an unexpected change, or the antagonist but it must be something. Characters that don't DO anything are boring. Ask yourself, "HOW can I create some tension? WHAT will my character to in response to the obstacle?"

Then, write about it.

Don't let your characters float through your story. Give them a goal and see what they can accomplish.

Is there a question you ask your characters or yourself to keep the tension? Share it!

That's all for today. Just some food for thought.

Until next time, WRITE ON!!

Jo

Write What You Know

In my post on Bringing Truth to Fiction, I talk about writing what you know. You know how people react in specific situations based on personal experience or by talking to those who have experienced it themselves.

I implore you to also use places you have been in your writing. You know those places, have firsthand experience with them, and are familiar with the sights, sounds, and smells. Use it. It's very difficult to write about a place you have never experienced yourself. Sure, you can read about them and learn everything there is to know before you sit down to write, but it's just not the same.

Yassa was hard to write because I have never been to Mongolia. I don't know what it smells or feels like. I used my experiences with similar landscapes to draw on the feelings the characters had while in their environments. While not a perfect approach, it worked. I still wish I'd had on-site experience.

When I write about Louisiana in The Abigale Chronicles, I am able to describe her surroundings perfectly. As I write Player, I am able to describe the surroundings without a second thought. I have been to the places in my books and I have the knowledge to draw on. I believe some of the best writers are well traveled and draw upon their experiences in various places in order to craft compelling stories. Fantasy is the same way because it's all based in some kind of fact.

Things we learn by visiting a place rather that just studying or reading about it:
1. Plant life
2. How people look
3. The feeling of the place
4. Temperature
5. Animals
6. History
7. Smells
8. Sounds
Those are just the tip of the iceberg. We have feelings when we are in an environment that we may not have anywhere else. Think of it like this: You're in a Starbucks and you smell the coffee, feel the coziness, and are waited on by friendly staff. You're in a cafe and you smell the food, feel the era, and may or may not be waited on by a friendly server. Those are very different experiences. If you are writing about a Starbucks and have never been in one, you will likely miss the mark of how a Starbucks feels. People could tell you, sure, but they may leave something out that's important.

We can use our imaginations but they are limited by our experiences. So, get out there and experience things to use in your stories! Your writing will thank you later.

What kind of experiences do you use in your writing?

I know I'm late but I hit inspiration this morning and had to get it out. More news on that one later!

Remember! Yassa is due out June 5, 2012! Keep your eyes open because you do NOT want to miss that story!

Until next time, WRITE ON!!

Jo

The Best Feeling!

When one of your beta readers comes up and asks you if you finished your book yet because they really want to know what happens next is the best feeling in the world next to being head-over-heels in love (which I am lucky enough to be! I love you, Babydoll!).

It's even more thrilling when that person says they didn't want to be pushy but considered e-mailing and asking you for the rest because they were getting antsy.

That happened to me today. I gave someone the first 21 chapters of Yassa and they said they were dying to know what was going to happen to Temujin, Borte, and Jamuka.

LOVE IT!!

Look for the release on June 5th on my Smashwords page. Don't forget to get your copy of The Abigale Chronicles - Book One on Smashwords today. Just $1.99!! It's a great young reader's book!!

Have you ever had that happen to you? How did it make you feel? What were the circumstances?

Sorry this is short today but I had to give my book some props, ya know?

Until next time, WRITE ON!!!

Jo