As you all may know, I'm a freak about schedules. They give me order among the chaos that's life. Since about June of last year, my schedule has been all shot to hell. I blogged about a lot of it here because I needed a way to get it out/off my shoulders. Well, now, things are starting to calm down and come back to the way they should be.So, I made a weekly schedule to accomplish some things I've been needing to do (write, business stuff with IBGW, grow a couple of my platforms, etc...) and hit it hard.
But I did something I hadn't planned for: I changed the way I eat and added an hour a day for exercise.
Yesterday, I started to think about why I did that, and I realized I'm only a week away from my fortieth birthday. Yep, that's right, I said forty. When it hit me, I had a moment of panic. There are still so many things I want to accomplish in my life. I have books out the wazoo that I want to read, write, and publish, too.
Because I have MS, this also dragged the question of how many years do I have left to do all those things? I know I don't feel like I thought a forty-year-old woman should feel. I still have the energy of a twenty-year-old cheerleader some days.
Could this be the beginning of the end, and how long will the end really take to greet me?
Thinking about that has me contemplating where I'm going with my life. Am I going to be content working on things for others forever, or do I want to dive into my work and keep breaking down conventional walls?
Was changing my eating habits just in time, or too late to make a real difference? Am I having a midlife crisis, or was all this just the sensible thing to do?
I'm a little frustrated. Like I said, there are still so many things I want to accomplish, and I feel like every tick of the clock is robbing me of another moment.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
There goes another minute of my life.
Of course, all this may be stemming from writing Utterances. I can't say a whole lot about the book right now, but I think you'll all love it when I'm done. I'm such a sucker for anything to do with the human condition and learning/surmising what makes people do the things they do and how life occurrences change the way we think.
I'm happy to say my schedule is working out fabulously though. Just look at the blog! What you can't see is that I have a clearer head, and I feel like a million bucks. Maybe it was just a good idea.
That brings me to my question of the day:
Do you ever examine your own humanity? What are your biggest goals and/or life questions? Is there anything BIG you want to accomplish before you shuffle off this mortal coil? Do you find it difficult to get a grasp on a schedule?
Talk about it!
Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!
Jo
