An Open Letter to Whomever Will Listen Concerning COVID-19

Happy Friday, y'all. I know a ton of people are going crazy because of quarantine, but hopefully, this will give you something to pass the time. Yeah, I know I'm going to go on and on here, but it's time we all started thinking about this. Grab your coffee or tea, get comfy, and let's get going.

To Whomever it May Concern (or to those folks that might listen),

It's time to stop reacting to things that are happening with the COVID-19 outbreak. Just. Stop. It. What's happened has happened. There's literally nothing you can do about it. No amount of complaining will fix it. No amount of saying it's not real will make it go away. It's very real. Those things that happened are done. Over. In the past. Untouchable.

How about you start looking to tomorrow? Or perhaps the next day? Next week, maybe? All of those?

Plan for what's coming, not what's already happened. I know you see it. You're not going into this situation blind. You have models from other countries that will tell you exactly how this virus will progress and what it will do. Think forward rather than backward. Put resources where they'll be needed tomorrow and not where they were needed yesterday. Yesterday is over. Tomorrow is coming.

We've known this was coming since December. And if someone like me, who's not as smart as so many others, saw it and planned for it, I have to wonder why you didn't. Why you didn't look at the people you govern and care like a mother does for her children? That's literally your job. It's not to make the right step or be infallible. You need to be human and care. Then take the steps to protect the ones you're supposed to protect. Admit when you screw up. We can handle that. Humility will get you everywhere. Then give us an actionable plan you've truly thought through and not some half-assed solution that addresses what happened before today.

Denying there's anything to worry about will make people lift their eyebrows at you. We're smarter than that. Give us some credit, will ya? Because you're not taking it seriously, there are thousands (possibly tens of thousands--I have no idea) on the beaches in Florida, tens of thousands (more?) still going out for dinner in crowded restaurants, and who knows how many traveling everywhere.

You have to convey the seriousness of the situation to the public, even if you have to eat a little crow along the way. Make people listen to protect them. That is your job.

There are so many states refusing to shut down. Do it before it gets out of control, or you won't be able to control it. That much, I can promise you. For every ten known cases, how many do we not know about? Think about that. We're smart enough to figure it out. Why aren't you?

People are hoarding because they're terrified. They know they don't have all the information. They're not freaking stupid. They know there's something y'all aren't telling us. Humans can handle the truth when you give it, but you have to be honest. If we feel like we're being lied to, we overreact and think the worst. It's hard to have conspiracy theories if someone is being blatantly honest and presenting you with a plan.

Yeah, I know, I know. You're being honest. You don't think there's anything to worry about. *insert eye roll* If that's true, then why declare a national state of emergency? Come on. We're not idiots. Stop treating us like we are. Please.

We have a hard time getting behind something we don't understand, and we don't understand this thing. What you're saying will happen here doesn't match what we're seeing happen elsewhere. Because of that, people are either all over the beaches in Florida or holed up in their homes, afraid to leave.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

Do what you need to do to get this crap under control. We won't hold it against you. Maybe if you're honest with the information and take needed precautions (huge thanks to all those counties in GA that have already shut down--appreciate y'all for caring--not sure it'll matter in the long run because of the other guys), we might actually have a chance. If you continue to lie, we're all screwed.

How about you start ordering ventilators today instead of the day you realize you need them. You know it's coming. Tomorrow is changeable. Yesterday is not.

For all you people calling this COVID-19 a hoax or a scare-tactic from the media: Do you think the whole world is in on some conspiracy to scare you? Come on. You're all smarter than that. And for what it's worth, every time you cite those things above? You're saying those lives lost already don't matter and the ones that will be lost in the coming months don't either.

Honestly, I've lost one parent, and if one of y'all acts stupid and causes me to lose the other because you didn't listen? Shame on you. Shame. On. You.

Look past what you're being told and examine other countries. There are plenty of case studies out there for you to look at. Don't be sheep. Think for yourselves. Then get your kids, siblings, parents, and friends on board. Get those college kids off the beaches. Quarantine them at home for a month after. This is what you're gonna have to do to keep this thing from spreading.

Y'all, wash your hands. Stay home whether you feel sick or not (if you can). You know this thing is contagious way before you show symptoms. Think of others. If you hoarded toilet paper out of panic, that's okay. Give a roll to an elderly person. Just leave it on their porch. They'll be grateful.

AND STOP FIGHTING. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth that, not even the last loaf of bread at Walmart. If you need to know how to bake bread, there's a video on my FB page that walks you through it. If you need to wipe your butt, use a rag and throw it in the washer with some bleach. It's what our great-great grandparents did. They made out just fine.

Also, please thank a nurse, doctor, truck driver, or EMT today. They're the ones keeping this country moving, and they'll be the ones that have to keep going, day after day, no matter how sick they get.

I'm disgusted at the blatant disregard for human life I'm seeing, but I'm also touched by the kindness I see happening everywhere. Be the kindness.

I hope someone hears this and we all start paying attention.

Peace and Love, Fellow Humans,

Jo

Being Put in Impossible Situations

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Well, the kidlings here in Ga are back in school, and that means Mommy can finally concentrate on things she needs to do without interruptions. While my child is good about not coming into my office when she knows I'm working, she's still a kid. Sometimes, she just can't help herself. But yay to being back on track. This post isn't about all that, however. Today, I'm going to talk about something I hate: being put in an impossible situation. Ready? Let's get going.

My definition of an impossible situation, for purposes of this post, is one where if I do one thing, I look like an ass, and if I do the other, I compromise my core values, allow myself to be deeply hurt or disappointed, or let people take advantage of me. Either way, as you can see, it's lose/lose. As you read, keep that in mind.

I've had sessions with counselors in which I'm told I have a very good sense of self-awareness, but that I need to be firmer with people. I should tell them when they hurt or disappoint me. For example: I know what it was that hurt me and why, but I can't bring myself to address it with someone else because I'm afraid of hurting them even though they've hurt me already. Oftentimes, I find myself commiserating with characters I see in movies that do stupid stuff, those folks that no one but me seems to understand, and I end up feeling badly for them.

Why is this?

Well, while talking out a situation one time, it was pointed out that I'm a giver with a very high core value of integrity, and while I never believed I expected anything in return, that wasn't quite the case.

I believed that if I gave and was honest, I would get loyalty in return. Now, loyalty isn't friendship. A true friend is there because they genuinely like the person you are and respect you. Loyalty, however, can be earned and independent of friendship. Someone who is loyal doesn't necessarily have to like you.

I hold people to a very high standard of behavior that includes respect of me and my time along with a few other things I have a hard time compromising on.

Let me clarify: I don't do things so people do things in return for me. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I give, and what I want in return is respect, thoughtfulness, and to not be put in impossible situations.

Here's one:
My son tells a friend they can stay over before asking me. I just took the kid all over town for school shopping, and I have three other kids in the house besides him. I'm just not in the mood to deal with someone else's child. I say no. He stands there and begs me, says he already invited the kid, and begs me some more. For every no, he has a reason it will work out, and he refuses to call the kid and tell them they can't come.

Okay, now I'm in an impossible situation. 1. ) I can either call the kid's parents and tell them the kid can't come, or 2. ) I can give in and be miserable all night. Several things eat at me about both of those options (please know I realize we'll all react differently to these things--these are my opinions and feelings--they may not make sense to you): 1. ) This option makes me look like a terrible parent (an ass) who can't keep their kids under control and it disappoints another child who might have been looking forward to something. It also has the likelihood of ruining the other set of parents plans they may have made with the expectation their child would be gone for the night. 2. ) If I give in to my kid, I reinforce that he can beg and get his way. Worse, I allow him to have control over me. I would be tired and grumpy, and I'd have yet another mouth to feed, another kid to clean up after, and another someone in my house (this alone causes me stress).

There are so many of these examples that I could throw down here, but I'm not going into all that. Today, I'm trying to get you to think about yourself and maybe even your characters' situations. It can be cathartic to write about people who behave in a different manner than you, but be careful to dig deeply and show why the character is the way they are to your reader. If you'd just read the beginning, without understanding why I reacted the way I did, you probably would've said that you'd stick to your no and be done with it. Hell, maybe you'd still say that. But this is showing you what it might be like via the inner turmoil of another.

I hate disappointing people or making them feel badly about something they've done. I also can't stand being selfish. It eats at me. So, when it comes to me standing up for myself, oftentimes, folks have no idea they've hurt me--even when it's deeply--because I move forward and pretend like everything is okay (this is especially true if they can't see me--if they can, they'll see the tears, but I'll insist everything is fine unless pushed, and then I tend to explode because I'm trying really hard to keep it under control--lose/lose) or I end up just ignoring them because I know I'll hurt their feelings if I say something.

My issue is that I expect other people to be as careful with my feelings as I am with theirs. This is what I refer to as loyalty.

I'm working on it.

What are yours? What do you think of the above? Do you have this issue? Do any of your characters? How did you show it?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

A Little Something Personal - My 2016

Hey there, everyone! I know you've probably been missing the heck out of me, but it is what it is. Figured I'd share...

I'm not usually a public person, so these things won't be easy for me to click publish on. If you're reading this, I did it, and it was scary, but I did it. Enough lead in, you're all aware I hate too much description, so let's just dive in and get to the root of the issue. This post will be long (you've been warned). Feel free to leave now if you're not in the mood to read some author's raving ramblings.


Here we go...

So, this year has sucked in so many ways. Don't get me wrong, there were AWESOME times to be had (and you've seen the pictures, so I have proof), but those posts have been done, and this isn't about those things that have been keeping me sane. This is about the other side of life, the dark side, the side I don't ever want you to see and try to shield you from.

But perhaps you should see and understand. Understand why I didn't give up, have a full grasp on exactly what it was I was fighting through, and perhaps walk away with a different outlook on things.

Back in the earlier parts of this year, my vision started to go crazy. My eyes were jumping all over the place, and I couldn't understand what the heck was going on. So, I went to the optometrist and got new glasses (I had an astigmatism before, but it was very slight). They didn't help. Nausea, memory loss (seriously, it was bad), and fatigue were becoming my best friends. Maybe not best friends, but you know the those folks that hang around, and because you can't get rid of them you kind of accept them for those quirks that drive you nutso? Yeah...

Anyway...

I'm the lady who gets my butt out of bed at 6am every day and refuses to go back until it's time to sleep. This was a life and schedule altering experience for me, to say the least.

Also, around this time, my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. That, in and of itself, was a journey, but it's not my story to tell, so I'm not going into it other than to say he's okay for now, and the doctors are keeping a very close eye on him. It pertains to my story only because it was near the end of his whirlwind of crazy that things with me got really bad.

One of my sons graduated high school this past May. We flew to his home, took him to dinner that night, attended the ceremony the next day, and got on an airplane later that day to come back to Georgia. While we were on our trip, I kept falling asleep. In the plane (NEVER), in the car (also NEVER), and I could barely hold my eyes open by the time we got back home.

About twelve to fourteen hours later, the vertigo hit me. It was the worst feeling I've ever had, and it took me down hard. I could barely get off the couch, I had extreme nausea, and all I wanted to do was...

You guessed it! Sleep.

So, to the doctor I go. First one tells me it might be BPPV, but she's not sure because I was on a plane and could just have a twinge of inner-ear crap from the pressure, and the feeling should clear on its own if that's what it is. I super hydrate and take a lot of Dramamine. A week later, I still feel reallllly bad, so I go to another doctor. This one also tells me it's probably BPPV, but to keep an eye on it and see if it doesn't clear up in a few days. He also does some blood work. Nothing alarming, so I'm really confused at this point.

Allow me to interject: I can't look at a computer screen or book for more than five minutes without wanting to hurl. Got that? Okay. Moving on!

I finally email him and ask what to do now, because it's been weeks, and I still feel like I'm on a tilt-a-whirl.

He says, "You should consult a neurologist."

Okay. I've got this. After a search of my insurance company's database, I find a neurologist close by and make an appointment. She can't see me until July. Great. Ugh.

I also can't travel, and my step-daughter gives birth June 28 to a gorgeous baby girl. I have to freaking miss it. All of it. Damn.

Finally, I get my appointment, my neurologist and I go through the story, and I tell her all my symptoms. She seems chipper, and does a billion tests in the office before sending me to an audiologist to make sure there's nothing going on with my inner-ear.

I'm also scheduled for an MRI of my brain.

By this point, I feel a lot like a pincushion, because everywhere I go they seem to want to stick me with something. I'm also freaking out because I want some freaking answers.

I'm interjecting again here because you gotta understand needles are one of my biggest fears (next to cockroaches--shivers), and that I'm still feeling dizzy as hell and unable to focus.

I have a release deadline coming, and I'm working on the new F5 project (when I'm able) while all this is happening. Words to describe my level of frustration don't exist.

I am an author. I want to work. I need to work. My work is my sanity.

And I couldn't work because I couldn't focus without getting sick as a dog.

Now, by that point, I'm stressed, but I have things I have to do on top of things I want and/or need to do. And I fell behind. But not once did I give an excuse, and I fought like a tiger to finish things I'd promised--and succeeded. Other things that weren't as important as business dealings were let go for a while. You blog readers probably noticed, eh? *grin*

Anyway, once I saw the audiologist, I was prescribed physical therapy. Oh, man! Sick upon sick upon sick every time, but things started to get better. I was able to read again without yakking or getting dizzy.

Results time comes around! Yay! I went back to the neurologist, and she tells me there are several lesions on my brain, but she wants me to have an MRI of my cervical spine and a spinal tap done to confirm her suspicions. Pages of instructions are given to me, and the lumbar puncture is what seems rather terrifying.

Gah!

But I do it, and as always, since everything kicked up, my husband was right there by my side, giving me encouragement, taking care of me and the kiddos when I couldn't do it myself.

I know I've said it before, but he's the best husband in the world. Seriously.

I digress...

So, on to the spinal tap results (which take for-e-ver, if you didn't know). When my doc gets them, she calls and backs my appointment up quickly.

Alarm bells...

I did my research (after all, I'm an author, and I look everything up), and I know what she's looking for, and all signs point to YIKES!

From May to September, I was sick, and I had no idea what was happening to me. Keep that in mind. While all this is happening, I'm still forcing myself to work as much as I can, do the things I can do, and trying to stay positive.

September 13, 2016, my neurologist gave her official diagnosis. I have Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. Treatment: an injectable drug.

Could've been worse, but even thinking about sticking myself with a damned needle freaked me the hell out. I'm faced with three times a week, every week, for the rest of my life.

Now, I'm feeling much better, though there are still things that aggravate my situation. My medication is kicking its way into my system with gusto, and my head is a helluva lot clearer. I can read again. I can write again. Most of all, I can think again.

To put it in perspective, that deadline I was talking about has since been met (it's with my editor now--as of Monday), and my project ended up just over 60k words. Before I got my meds? I was sitting at 12k and worrying I was going to have to fight to finish on time. Come hell or high water, I was getting that damned book written!

Along this whole journey, and through my life, here are some things I learned:

• My husband is AWESOME, and I wish everyone had someone like him.
• Never take anything for granted. Just because you can do something you enjoy today, doesn't mean it will be there tomorrow.
• Life is meant to be lived. Take every joyous moment and hold onto it like you'll lose it, because you might.
• Never give up. Fight like hell to have the life you want.
• If something isn't working, find a way to change it.
• Try to look on the positive side of things. My diagnosis could've been much, much worse.
• Tell people how much they mean to you as often as you're able, and try to be kind.
• Don't ever let anyone make you feel less than you are or make you feel guilty for not doing what they want you to do. You're not a puppet on a string.
• Be your own biggest cheerleader.

I've had a month or so to wrap my head around all of this, and I've decided to take every blow as it comes and not wallow in despair or pity. There's no time for that when I need to be living.

So many exciting things are coming, and I feel so lucky I'm going to be able to bring them all to you.

It may take me time, but hang in here while I get back on my feet. 2017 will rock!

No, I didn't owe you an explanation, but I thought it might do someone some kind of good to see that there are people out there who don't give up when things get hard. This isn't an apology for not posting. When things get tough, my blog is what gives. It is what it is.

I am not my disease, and I don't want pity. There are people out there who have it far worse than I do, and I count myself lucky to have had such amazing people (tooooo freaking many to name here) and doctors in my corner looking out for me. This was just my story, and because I'm a storyteller, I told it.

I hope you got something out of it.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

I Suppose You've Noticed

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I hope you're all having a fabulous week so far, and you're raring to go for the weekend. Just two more days now. Today, I'm gonna talk to you all about what's going on and why the blog has been spotty. Ready? Grab your cup of Jo, get comfy, and let's get going!

As you all know, I don't talk about my personal life very often. This will be one of those rare times. You've invested your time and interest in my blog, so I'm gonna be honest for a moment.

And, no, I'm not apologizing. Missing posts when I have so much going on isn't anything I'll ever apologize for.

So, here's the skinny:

First, my health went to hell at the end of May. I've seen so many doctors in the last two months, I'm pretty sure I've earned a badge of some kind. No, I'm not gonna go into what happened or what's going on; just know that it's an ongoing thing, and I'm still trying to find ways to balance stuff. It WILL happen, and I'd love your patience as I figure it out. 2016 can suck it.

Second, I've been doing things offline for the new F5 collaborative project. Days when I can't look at my computer screen to write or blog are spent working on things we need (details will be coming SOON). Speaking of which, if you'd like to help us when we start rolling things out, fill out this awesome Google form! Thank you in advance!



Third, I've been doing a lot of stuff around my house, and my sons have been here visiting. It's time consuming.

I'm still on track to do a lot of things I wanted to do (and committed to do) this year, but I gotta get a handle on my health first. That and my family will always be priority one.

Today's a good day, so I'm able.

Sending you all light and warm wishes on this rainy Wednesday in Georgia. :)

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo