Hello, everyone, and happy Wednesday! I'm going so deep into my soul for today's post, it's crazy. We're talking about emotions and writing, and how you can deal with the emotional distress life can throw your way. We've all been there, some of us more deeply in it than others, and we know how quickly the milkshake you've been shaking stops bringing all the boys to the yard. Buckle up, and grab a box of tissues just in case. Coffee locked and loaded?
Good. Let's go!
There are so many emotional firecrackers that can go off in our lives that we can't just power through, and sometimes, sitting in the silence makes thoughts we hate come to the surface and sit there, swirling around, yanking our focus away from our task at hand. Holy shit that was a long sentence. *inhales deeply* This type of thing can break us from the inside out. There are a handful of things I can think of that can, and have, thrown me out of my writing habit. I know there are others.
Here are a few of the life changers I could think of off the top of my head:
- Death of a loved one.
- Extreme stress.
- Uncertainty about the future.
- Homelessness.
- Losing a high-paying job.
- Major health issues (you or a family member you care for).
Let's address these from the only place I can come from. Some of you will have different experiences/stressors, and that's perfectly alright. This is how I dealt with it, and I'm hoping to encourage some thinking and self forgiveness here. :)
I've talked about my MS before, but the April after I was diagnosed, my husband was told he had cancer and would have to do chemo. That sent us both into a bit of a tailspin. I was knee deep in War and Pieces art (the shoes for the covers), and he planned to work through chemo, so I was the one setting his stuff up and doing the driving every day.
We still published on time, but I had to find a way to make it work. Not everyone has that option, and I was lucky I did at the time. Honestly, if emotional distress has you unable to make words, then don't make words. There's no way I could've gotten any writing done during chemo, so it was a great thing that I was in an artwork phase. It was HARD. I'm not sure I could do it today.
When my son died, I lost all my motivation to do much of anything. Sitting in a quiet room with nothing but my words simply wasn't an option. I had to stay super busy so the grief didn't eat me alive. I had random aches all over (especially in my chest), and I spent a lot of time with my punching bag.
I dove into art with gusto. I devoured YouTube videos from artists and learned how to work in several new mediums. Then I started putting them together to create things that were unique, things no one had done before. Like this:
Or this:
My house quickly filled with paintings and other art. Some were those of a beginner, and some were actually really good. Then I created things for friends as test pieces with new mediums to see what my limits were. Like this one I did for my friend Casey Bond:
I improved and upskilled, and I was able to eventually do this:
You know what I didn't do? I didn't beat myself up for not writing. Yes, it's in my blood. I love it more than I can say. I've done things with my writing no one has ever done before. I created the story of a book that compels the reader to read it. I told a story from the POV of the house itself. It brings me so much joy when people read and love my work, when it touches their hearts and makes them think.
That being said, I couldn't bring myself to the place I needed to be to write.
That's okay.
Read it again.
You don't have to be a writer 24/7 if you're a writer. You're allowed to take time to heal. You're allowed to take time for any reason you please. Your books don't own you and neither do your fans.
Yes, you'll lose some followers along the way, but you have to ask yourself what matters most. Do you matter? Does your mental health matter?
The answer is yes. Without you being in top form, the words won't be what they could've been. Take the time you need. Don't regret it; you'll emerge from the other side a stronger, healthier you.
Of the things I listed above, I've been through all of them except one. Guess where I am right now? Writing. Yeah, it's just my blog for now, but I'll be back at the words this year. Make no mistake, you'll come back around.
Be patient, and be kind to yourself.
You matter.
I hope you were able to read through this without too much trouble. Sometimes, beautiful things come from pain, and sometimes, they come from happiness. Either way, creative things are borne from emotion. Go ahead and feel.
Did I miss any of the major stressors? Drop me a comment. I'd love to know how the last few years have been for you.
Well, that's all for today, folks!
Until next time, WRITE ON!
Jo
