Happy Monday, good people of the blogosphere! I know I'm late. I had stuff for my normal job to do. hahaha. Today, we'll be talking about overused phrases (clichés) in thriller novels specifically. You've probably all seen/read these before, but just so you know, I'm in a thriller group where the readers poked some fun at the genre this week, and these were the phrases they came up with. I'm sure I've used a couple, but I do my LEVEL best to avoid stuff like this.
Ready? Grab a coffee and get comfy. Here we gooooooooo...
First up, we have the body language phrases:
- I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
- I bit my knuckles.
- The smile did not reach my eyes.
- I instantly collapsed.
- My eyes darkened.
- His eyes sparkled with recognition.
- Bit my tongue until a metallic taste filled my mouth.
- Calluses.
- Boobies bouncing boobily.
- Bite the inside of your cheek.
- Nails digging into palms.
- Pacing back and forth.
- Hearts beating out of chests.
- White knuckling something (like a steering wheel).
- Shivers dancing down spines.
- Knitting brows.
- Hooded eyes.
- Ice in veins.
- Click or cluck tongue.
- Lips that turn into a line.
Okay, and now we go to descriptions:
- Toothy smiles.
- Watery smiles.
- Sickening thuds.
- Padding out of a room.
- Awaking with a start.
- Scarlet cheeks.
- Throats with bile filling them.
- Suddenly gasping.
- A bit too thin.
- Red like strawberries.
- Cold, dead, and unseeing eyes.
- Invisible lint.
Additional ones:
- Realizing X amount of time had passed.
- A woman who doesn't know how beautiful she is.
- A sensation of eyes boring into you.
- Prickling sensation.
- Little half moons in palms.
- Chairs scraping across linoleum floors.
- Screaming only to realize it's me.
- Swallowing the lump.
- Steam curling from mugs.
- Bowels turning to water.
- Small of your back being touched.
- Those darn jaw ticks.
Now, these phrases aren't bad on their own, but when you're writing them into your novel, try to keep in mind 1k other people are also writing them into their novels. There are a few of these I have issue with that could be worded better:
- Released a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Yeah, you knew you were holding your breath. It's an automatic feature of being human, breathing, and it doesn't stop unless you tell it to with your brain.
Use this instead: Released my breath as I relaxed.
- My/His/Her eyes darkened.
Are you or they a magician? How are your/their eyes changing color? They're not.
Use this instead: His eyelids dropped halfway, and he tipped his chin down a bit.
- Pacing back and forth.
This is four words where one will do. I go over this in some of the editing posts I've written. When someone paces, back and forth is implied. You don't have to beat the reader over the head with it.
Use this instead: She paced between the fridge and the window, stopping to peek out each time. Or simply: She paced.
- Knitted brows.
This is one of those things that drives me batty. You don't have to use this exact phrase. Change it up. Get creative. That's your job as a writer.
Try: Pulled his eyebrows together until they nearly touched. Or: Scrunched her nose and wrinkled her forehead, causing her brows to get closer.
- Suddenly gasping or suddenly gasped.
A gasp is sudden. You only need one of those words, not both. I don't even have a use this instead hint here. I mean, leave off a word. haha
- Bowels turning to water.
I'm so glad I've never seen this. I'd stop reading. Your bowels can't turn to water and neither can your legs or a smile. Just stop it.
Use this instead: A sudden urge to shit slammed into me like a noon train, and I clenched my butt cheeks.
Here are some tips I've worked up in the past. Here is a game you can play with phrases like this so you can alter them.
What are your favorite common phrases? Ping me a comment, and let me know!
I hope you all got something out of this post, even if it was just a chuckle.
Well, that's all for today, folks!
Until next time, WRITE ON!
Jo
