As you all may know, I'm a freak about schedules. They give me order among the chaos that's life. Since about June of last year, my schedule has been all shot to hell. I blogged about a lot of it here because I needed a way to get it out/off my shoulders. Well, now, things are starting to calm down and come back to the way they should be.So, I made a weekly schedule to accomplish some things I've been needing to do (write, business stuff with IBGW, grow a couple of my platforms, etc...) and hit it hard.
But I did something I hadn't planned for: I changed the way I eat and added an hour a day for exercise.
Yesterday, I started to think about why I did that, and I realized I'm only a week away from my fortieth birthday. Yep, that's right, I said forty. When it hit me, I had a moment of panic. There are still so many things I want to accomplish in my life. I have books out the wazoo that I want to read, write, and publish, too.
Because I have MS, this also dragged the question of how many years do I have left to do all those things? I know I don't feel like I thought a forty-year-old woman should feel. I still have the energy of a twenty-year-old cheerleader some days.
Could this be the beginning of the end, and how long will the end really take to greet me?
Thinking about that has me contemplating where I'm going with my life. Am I going to be content working on things for others forever, or do I want to dive into my work and keep breaking down conventional walls?
Was changing my eating habits just in time, or too late to make a real difference? Am I having a midlife crisis, or was all this just the sensible thing to do?
I'm a little frustrated. Like I said, there are still so many things I want to accomplish, and I feel like every tick of the clock is robbing me of another moment.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
There goes another minute of my life.
Of course, all this may be stemming from writing Utterances. I can't say a whole lot about the book right now, but I think you'll all love it when I'm done. I'm such a sucker for anything to do with the human condition and learning/surmising what makes people do the things they do and how life occurrences change the way we think.
I'm happy to say my schedule is working out fabulously though. Just look at the blog! What you can't see is that I have a clearer head, and I feel like a million bucks. Maybe it was just a good idea.
That brings me to my question of the day:
Do you ever examine your own humanity? What are your biggest goals and/or life questions? Is there anything BIG you want to accomplish before you shuffle off this mortal coil? Do you find it difficult to get a grasp on a schedule?
Talk about it!
Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!
Jo
Jo, I am always scheduling! Lol, sometimes I think it's an addiction. My struggle is that I'm always OVER-scheduling. But I get far more done that way, even despite the guilt of the things I didn't get done. I've always worked with the philosophy that age is just a number. My mom is turning 73 this year and she ran my kids ragged while she was out visiting in June. If she has that much pep and go at her age, I think I will be fine. Happy birthday, beautiful! Enjoy every second and don't worry about that clock!
ReplyDeleteThe last two years have had me pondering a lot... a combination of being in my 40's, changes at work, but more importantly, losing loved ones. What especially hit me hard was losing my cousin to breast cancer... she was five years younger than me. More than what I want to accomplish, I want to be there for my kids, my husband, and I'd like to make more time for friends. I haven't figured out the secret formula yet, but I'm always trying! ❤️
ReplyDeleteHaving just turned 50 yrs old last year, I definitely hear what you're saying about wondering if you're hitting 'mid-life crisis' territory! It seems that this term has been given bad connotations, with visions of someone wearing age inappropriate clothing/accessories as they drive recklessly down the street in a red convertible sports car... For some, it's when you have that realization that you need to make some positive life changes. I'm not sure where I am here (yes - I drool over Dodge Chargers at EVERY opportunity...don't judge!) but I know I've also been more focused on my health these past few years, also wondering if I waited too long to have these realizations (another thing most people-of-a-certain-age seem to have in common, it seems).
ReplyDeleteFor me, I know I have always kept my youthful enthusiasm for life experiences, thrilled that I've also been chipping away on a bucket list for most of my life (and am happy to say that list just keeps growing - crazy)!
With a diagnosis of being 'gluten sensitive' and dairy not being my friend, and as someone formerly living to bake cakes & other such desserts, I had to make some serious life changes. It's been a long couple of years. I am definitely feeling better - and not dying...literally - and hope that I can help other avoid severe health issues, primarily caused by not paying attention to your own health. It's true: as we get older, we have to eat healthier and not shrug off the 'I just don't feel good' days; pay attention to those little aches and pains because it ain't going away on its own... Trust me - listen to your elder! (Another perk of 'getting older'...saying crap like that! You know you're looking forward to that, Jo!)