Viewpoint - The Bachelor and Honesty

Happy Thursday, everyone! So, today, you're getting some randomness. Now and then, I'm going to throw these posts out there that talk about stuff. Stuff that's on my mind, that I've discussed with others and found interesting, and that I feel you might want to get into with me. Today is one of those days. Ready? Grab your coffee or tea, and let's get going!

I was watching The Bachelor (mine and the hub's guilty pleasure--oh, the drama!) the other night, and the hubs and I found ourselves, once again, amused by the women trying to do things to "stand out" among the crowd. They drive up in special cars or ride up on horses, wear costumes, bring gifts, and say crazy things. My husband and I find this rather hilarious. Of course, my brain started ticking, and I glanced over at him and said, "You know, if one of these girls really wanted to stand out, she'd forego the dress, extensions, false eyelashes, and makeup, and she'd show him what he'll really be looking at in a few years."

That got me thinking. Is the reason these relationships don't last unrealistic expectations that are set from day one?

What if those women wore their regular clothes and looked the way they looked when they're just bumming around the house? After all, that's what the man is going to see once the show is over.

Why not let them stay in the person's hometown and go on dates at local places? That's where they'll be going on dates once they're married.

Instead, these women put on their best faces, pretending to be something they're not, and jaunt all over the world on exciting adventures trying to win the heart of a guy they barely know.

I'm all about reality outside of books. I mean, you know what that person shows you in the few hours you get to spend with them. Some of the women leave without ever getting one-on-one time with the guy. How is that an opportunity?

While I love the drama and the crazy that happens on the show, I think we'd still get that, in a more raw form, if these ladies were just to all date the same guy with none of the glitz and glamor the show spends money and time on.

Once they leave, their hairdressers and makeup artists leave, too! Back to old Plain Jane.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the stuff they say (make up) to look better in the eyes of the guy. I mean, sit down and have a real conversation. Ask about him. Tell him about you. Don't lie. Lies in the beginning? What's the point? He'll find out eventually, and then what do they say? Oh, I didn't want to tell you that for fear of you judging me?

If someone can't accept you for exactly who you are, flaws and all, why would you want to be with them?

What a crappy romance story it would be if writers told it as the women doing anything to impress the guy!
Guy: "Oh, I can't be with you anymore because you own a dog, and I hate dogs."
Girl: "I can get rid of the dog!" Runs from the room crying because she loves that dog and doesn't want to get rid of it.
*Couple breaks up a year later because she gets tired of compromising.*

If it wouldn't work in real life, what in the world makes us think it'll work in the realm of reality TV?

I don't know about all of you, but I'd watch the show that put guys and girls in real situations with real time and honesty, with their actual selves, just to see what actually came of it.

What do you think? Does this drive you bananas, or do you think there's a reason ABC hasn't done a "real" reality TV Bachelor?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

From Old Hands to New Mouths - Authors Helping Authors - Publishing Helping Hands

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I had a typesetting job I needed to work on today, and I've been hemming and hawing about how to approach this topic. I'm gonna warn you now, my opinions are strong, and they're about to be vomited all over my blog. If you're not sure you can handle it, I suggest you get on outta here now. However, if you think maybe, just maybe, you'll be interested in hearing what I have to say, grab a cup of Jo, get comfy, and read on.

*rubs hands together*

Here we go!

I was interacting with a few authors a little while back, and one of them said something that made me pause and think.

Here's what was said (no, you don't need to know who said it): "I usually see big time authors only helping other big time authors. It could be because they have been friends since the beginning, who knows. But I rarely see a best selling author promoting someone new."

How true.

My immediate response was anger, and then I thought about it. Now, I'm beyond pissed.

Why?

Well, once upon a time, we were ALL brand new authors. Yeah, we kicked and clawed our way up the ranks, writing and fighting, promoting and extending hands to help those in the same boat we were in. Ergo, people rose up together. When one person got a piece, they shared it with those who've been by their side from the beginning.

Nothing wrong with that.

Until...

Once you get a big name (or even a semi-big name) and you start to crap on the little guys because they're all "nobodys" or you snub new folks at signings because you can't be bothered. Better yet, you're rude or just don't bother to respond when someone approaches you or asks you a question.

Yeah, those folks are all new to this publishing and marketing stuff, and you know what? They could use a friggin hand. Even if you just take five minutes to share your process or give a tiny piece of advice that isn't "keep writing." Everyone knows they have to keep writing. Duh. That's like telling a painter they need to keep painting or a bricklayer to keep building. That's not the advice they're looking for.

What is there to lose, really? An hour or two of your writing time?

Really?

But stopping to give someone advice isn't all there is. Nope. You can share a Facebook post (or two—gasp!), swap backmatter, or even—dare I say it?—read or buy their book. Holy crap! Now there's a new idea! Actually buying the books of your fellow authors. Who would've thought?

Next time you're on Facebook, head over to a book page and like and share a couple of their posts on your page. Even if you don't know the author. No, especially if you don't know the author.

Because, believe it or not, those new authors of today will be where you are tomorrow, and some of them will rocket past you to the top. How silly will you look when they recall your reaction to their query or request for a handshake when you step up to get your copy of their book signed?

Truth be told, you never know who'll make it in this industry, so be kind to everyone while you can. If all the people you know stay on the bottom rungs forever, that's okay, too.

Know why?

Because you've made new friendships that'll be there forever. And those, folks, are worth more than gold.

So, my call to everyone who's up there now: Get a kid sister or brother author. Help them out when you can. Offer to put a snippet of their book in the back of yours. Put out a call. I guarantee someone will answer.

Be kind. 

Lift as you climb.

Be a mentor.

You can't write enough books to fill all the hungry brains out there. These authors aren't your competition, they're your partners.

Think about this:

What if you offered to swap backmatter with a new author and their book takes off, hitting the top twenty? Guess what? Part of your book is in there! What if your book rockets up the charts? Well, that's a win for them, too!

It WILL work if you work together, but a house divided against itself cannot stand (thank you, Abe, for that sage advice).

Tell me in the comments what you plan to do. Then, go out and do it. Come on back and tell me how it went or how it's going.

Help one another, because there isn't another magic formula that'll do it all for you.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo