5 Ways to Avoid Insta-Love

Happy Friday, good people of the blogosphere! Man, am I ready for the weekend. I'm hoping this crud flushes out of my system all the way by Monday. Not sure what you Floridians are cooking up down there, but this is one nasty as hell cold. Yeah, I've had it since my (cold) trip south. Fun, right? Anyway, enough about that! Today I want to give you five quick and dirty tips to avoid portraying insta-love in your novels. Readers generally hate it when there's no buildup to a feeling of all encompassing love. So grab your pens and notebooks and let's get going!

1. Give Your Characters Empathy for One Another. This easy to implement angle gives your characters some reference when they meet again for the first time. In The Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta have a bit of history together. It made the love he had for her more realistic.
2. They Have so Much in Common. Again, this is rarely revealed when the characters only spend a few days together. You have to solidify the bond over time. But having things to talk about will help you write the story and show your readers how well your two lovers get along.
3. Make One of Them an Ex. Perhaps one of them dumped another and a number of years have gone by in which each character matured. This builds on the previous relationship. Think about the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Melanie wanted to marry Jake from childhood. It was a great backstory to work in.
4. He or She was the Best Friend's Best Friend. Maybe your two lovebirds eyed each other over their significant others years ago but kept it friendly. Now, they're single and things are heating up where they couldn't before.
5. Friends Forever. Often, the best romantic tales begin with the two lovers being friends without realizing how they feel under the surface. Or, maybe one of them does and is afraid to tell the other on the off-chance that person doesn't feel the same way. Hell, there's a reality TV show that's made millions off this exact scenario.

I'm betting you're noticing a trend in the list above.

If not, I'll give you a moment to read it again and see if you can find the common denominator.

...

...

Got it? Yep, that's right, it's always a love that develops over time. Whether past or present, these people don't meet one moment and spend the rest of their lives all googly eyed over one another. While that might be lovely to experience, it rarely happens in the real world (if at all) and you have to be careful of falling into that trap as an author.

Be sure you're figuring out why these two love one another the way they do and you're letting your reader in on the big secret.

By all means, feel free to describe the butterflies, tingly palms, loss of words, and shortness of breath that occur when one is physically attracted to another human. Apply caution and try to remember: That's not love.

Love is complete trust in someone else to not betray your secrets, a great deal of caring about the well being of that person, and faith they won't leave your side when you need them. In other words, it's two people knowing one another inside and out; and adoring each other just the way they are.

That's why it takes time to develop; even in books.

What was your best and worst case of insta-love (either in something you read or something you wrote)? Share with us!

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Great Books and Human Nature

Happy Thursday, good people of the blogosphere! What a crazy week it's been. I've managed to get into a couple of really awesome books lately and want to share those as well as talk about a series of posts I wrote last year on Human Nature. So grab your pens and notebooks and let's get going!

A library card is something I'm still in awe of having. Libraries give you the ability to, not only read, but take home a multitude of books you can learn from if you simply give them your name, number, and address. It stuns me every time I go in and see all those books for the consuming just sitting there on the shelves, waiting for me to pluck them out, take them home, and read the words on the pages. As a library hound, I've run across a couple of amazing books for bloggers and authors you guys might want to consider picking up yourselves.

If you go to your library and they don't have one of these books, you can request one and should have it within a week or two. How cool is that? Plus, it's all free!

So, here's the list:

• Blogging for Creatives: How Designers, Artists, Crafters and Writers can blog to make contacts, win business and build success. by Robin Houghton

This book was helpful in giving advice on how to blog, make social networking contacts, and attract visitors. If you want to monetize your blog, there's advice in there about that, too. I skimmed over that part, because I refuse to run ads on my blog other than my own, but it has a lot of great information in it.

• Wired for Story: The writer's guide to using brain science to hook readers from the very first sentence. by Lisa Cron

I'm about halfway through this book and I can already tell it's a winner. It really gets into why people read and what they want, rather than telling you how to craft a novel. You can check it out when I'm done with it. Haha!

• I love the For Dummies series and picked this one up because it looked awesome: Writing Young Adult Fiction - for Dummies. by Deborah Halverson

I've only glanced through the contents, but I'm eager to get into it this weekend.

One thing I noticed as I was reading Wired for Story, is she talks a lot about Human Nature and how it plays a big part in how people get hooked on a tale. I thought it might be a good idea to give you a few links to those posts while you're here, so you have some supplemental materials if you decide to check out the book.

Human Nature Series:
The Love Affair
Holding a Grudge
Seeking Revenge
Situation Reaction
Thought Processes

If you take the time to flip through and read those posts, you'll have a good foundation on which to build as you read Wired.

Do you have a library card? How often do you visit?

Remember, today is the last day to pick up Mystic~Bronya for free over on Amazon so get on over there and grab a copy!

If you haven't entered to win a copy of Sixty Days of Grace, today's your last chance on that one, too! Here's the Rafflecopter entry form one more time:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Be sure and check out the guest post from Monday by M.R. Polish! Next week, we'll have a new author and you don't wanna miss this one.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Human Nature - Thought Processes

HAPPY FRIDAY! This week I'm going to be discussing a few different facets of human nature as they relate to characters and writing. See the quick schedule below:

• The Love Affair 
• Holding a Grudge
• Seeking Revenge
• Situation Reaction
• Thought Processes

Today's the last day of my Human Nature series. I hope you've followed along with me and have gained a deeper understanding of your characters this week. Thank you all so much for being fans and followers of my blog!

As you can see, we delve into Thought Processes today. This will be a summation of the week because each of the topics discussed followed a Thought Process. Your character wavered, decided, and acted. So grab your pens and notebooks and let's get rolling!

If you didn't realize, there are a ton of thought processes. I'm only going into four types here today.

1. Lateral - This thought process derives a solution from things that aren't immediately obvious. You aren't using the lateral thought process if you use a step-by-step approach. These people are generally creatives and find new ways to do things. A lateral thinker can be the most dangerous type of character. They're the ones that rig up a contraption to stab someone in the back rather than plunging the knife in with their own hand. However, they're also the most likely to make it out of a sticky or dangerous situation.
2. Common Sense - It's exactly what it sounds like. Common sense is using facts concerning the situation to come to a sound conclusion. Kind of like: If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. This doesn't apply to fantasy where characters can appear to be ducks. But your character either has common sense or doesn't. They may begin a love affair thinking it won't have an effect on them even though the same action destroyed their own family unit. If they use common sense, the love affair wouldn't take place. In a stressful situation, they may react in a positive way but they find it difficult to look outside the box.
3. Parallel - Folks that can do this look at two sides of the situation at the same time. Once one is discarded, another comparison takes its place. This type of thinking continues until a decision is reached. When considering revenge, this type of person is the most dangerous because they've considered every possible angle before ever making the first move.
4. Personal Experience - Obviously, this type of thought process allows the person to draw conclusions from life experiences. This type can take things to a light or dark place, depending on life events. If the person has only been deceived or betrayed by everyone they ever knew, they'll assume every person they meet is the same way. There is no lateral thinking by someone who only draws from personal experience.

As humans, we rarely use just one type of thought process. For example: Most authors are lateral thinkers who use common sense and help it along with personal experience. If we used just one thought process, we would be flat and dull.

Now, when your character decides to partake in a Love Affair, you need to ask yourself why. Revenge? Grudge they're holding? Or simply a reaction to a situation? In this case, we'll use an example with easy to follow bullet points. But first, let's set the scene.

A married man is out with his friends. He's just had an argument with his wife during which she called him a pig and told him to get out. A beautiful, smart, friendly woman approaches the man and engages with him before asking if he'd like to go back to her place. His friends urge him to take the plunge. What does he think and do? His options are:

• Remove his wedding ring
• Gain hero status with his idiot friends
• Take the woman back to her place
• Ruin his marriage or his sanity
• Lie forever
• Tell the truth after and deal with it

OR

• Politely tell the woman he's married
• Deal with being called a chump
• Go home
• Tell the wife what happened
• Be the good guy

OR

• Tell the woman he's married but arguing with his spouse
• Take her number
• Leave his wife
• Get a divorce
• Start seeing the new girl

If the man lets all of these scenarios pass through his head, he knows the likely outcome of his actions. From there, he'll make a decision. We know from human nature which one is most likely, but a character can surprise us now and again. He may never consider the real ramifications of his actions, sleep with the woman, and ruin his psyche and relationship without realizing what he's doing. It could all happen over a simple argument where he held on to the hurt and allowed it to destroy him. His thought process probably went something like this:

• My wife was cruel and doesn't care for me
• This woman is interested
• No one will ever find out
• What if they do?
• Should I do this or not?

Another.

A young girl is just turning into a woman. She gets her first period at school and has no way to clean up because she doesn't understand what's happening to her. Add a group of girls who tease her every day for a month and you have a character with a grudge. What are her options?

• Pretend it doesn't bother her
• Silently plot revenge
• Get dirt on the girls and spread rumors
• Watch as their lives fall apart

OR

• Pretend it doesn't bother her
• Cry every night because they were mean
• Quit going to school
• Allow it to ruin her life and make her a pariah

OR

• Tell the girls what she thinks
• Let it go, understanding it's part of the cycle of life thing and the girls are just being cruel
• Continue on and forget what happened
• Learn from the experience

Does this sound familiar? Think of the book Carrie by Stephen King. That girl took it to a dark place and killed a bunch of people. Human nature shows us that we can only take so much. We would hope the girls would apologize later but it's not likely if they were cruel enough to do what they did in the first place. This girl's thought process probably went like this:

• What's happening to me?
• Should I say something to them?
• I'm a freak
• Maybe I'm not a freak
• Should I get back at them?

Your characters are defined by their reaction to situations and thought processes that bring them to a conclusion. Decisions they make shape them into the characters they are. Remember to be true to life first. The very best fiction comes from truth.

Question of the day: Has this week helped you at all with character development or deeper understanding?

I hope you've all enjoyed this week's posts and took something away from them.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Human Nature - Situation Reaction

You made it over humpday, good people of the blogosphere! Welcome to Thursday. This week I'm going to be discussing a few different facets of human nature as they relate to characters and writing. See the quick schedule below:

• The Love Affair 
• Holding a Grudge
• Seeking Revenge
• Situation Reaction
• Thought Processes

As you can see, today is Situation Reaction. I love this topic! So, grab your pens and your handy-dandy notebook and let's get to it!

If you've truly given thought to your character, knowing how they will react in certain situations is easy to ascertain. Psychology tells us there are two basic reactive types and people will react to stress in certain ways depending on their internal makeup. Those two types are:

1. Fight - This is where the person is facing a threat either bodily or mentally and they choose to face it head on. These types of people fight for themselves no matter the danger.
2. Flight - Easy to understand, these people are runners. They're the ones who freeze up in the face of danger or avoid it altogether.

We had a heady debate in Psych 101 where I argued that someone who had never seen a gun (and had no idea what a gun was), wouldn't be scared if a gun were used to threaten them (even if they were a flight personality). I was thinking of Native Americans that were faced with the guns of the settlers. Until the Native Americans knew what a gun could do, they had no reason to have fear of one. Makes sense, no?

Making your character one or the other is central to your story. Understanding why they react the way they do is central to your character. It's simple, really:

• Those who are fighters either don't care if they die or they don't have a lot to lose.
• Those who fly are scared of death and know they have a lot to lose.

This can be played upon when threatening a loved one of someone who usually flies instead of fights. Take a mother who is complacent and a known flier and her child. Then, put that child in danger via a direct threat. You may be surprised at how quickly that meek flier turns into a snarling fighter. But why is that?

A simple answer would be the protective instinct. If we delve more deeply, we'll most likely find that woman first sought a way out of the situation before putting herself in harm's way. Ah ha! Now you have something to build on and a great source of tension for your novel. Keep in mind that the woman didn't simply change what type she was on a dime, rather that she had something more precious than her own life to worry about. We'll go into that further tomorrow during Thought Processes.

Which type of person we are is an inherent part of our nature. This applies to fictional characters as well. However, your character is on a journey and this is yet another way in which you can bring about change from page 1 to page 400. Remember, the best fiction comes from fact.

Question of the day: Have you ever been faced with danger? How did you react?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Human Nature - Seeking Revenge

Happy Wednesday, good people of the blogosphere! This week I'm going to be discussing a few different facets of human nature as they relate to characters and writing. See the quick schedule below:

• The Love Affair 
• Holding a Grudge
• Seeking Revenge
• Situation Reaction
• Thought Processes

Today is day three and we'll be talking about Seeking Revenge. Grab those papers and pens and let's get going!

There are a few types of people who seek revenge. Some who do it on purpose, and some who do it without realizing what they're doing when it happens. Here's a breakdown:

1. Vengeful and Proud - This type of person lets it be known they are out for blood. If you piss this type of person off, they're going to tell you that you better watch your back. Rest assured, you should watch your back. Of the many types, this is probably the least common. But, on the bright side, they're also the most honest type of person. If you hurt them, they'll be in your face warning you. You'll be told what you did to cause them to seek revenge and exactly how they're going to make it happen. At least you know what's coming. They oftentimes regret the vengeance afterward, but it doesn't stop them from acting out in the first place. They feel justified at first; only to lament the decision later.
2. Vengeful Without Qualms - These people are out to hurt anyone that hurts them. They don't care if you have sixteen children and it's your last dollar they force you to give up knowing everyone will starve. It doesn't bother them later. There is no remorse and they'll let you know it. Watch out for these types. While they make good characters, they also must be without a conscience at all. It can prove difficult for them to be allowed to form any type of relationship. Ever.
3. Sneaky Vengeance - Oh my. People like this hit you and you never see it coming. You may not even know what you did to bring it on until after the proverbial poo has been splattered by the fan and lands in your open mouth. They are dangerous because they put on a smile and work to stab you in the back however they can. Acts brought about by them will destroy your life and you may not even be able to trace the source of the pain back to this person. They make great characters because they can constantly throw in a gauntlet for your hero/heroine to overcome while still being the pretend BFF. They will never ever admit to being the cause of the pain.
4. Woeful Vengeance - Meek, honest to a fault, and shy people act out woeful vengeance. They may do something unintentionally to get revenge. Only after the fact do they realize what a horrible thing they've done and they usually rush to apologize and admit their wrongdoing. These people beat themselves up daily for what they did and often have a difficult time moving past it, even if the other person forgives them for the wrongdoing. It can change them for the better or worse. That's up to the character's personality and you, the writer. Let it be a lesson or a life-altering event.

All types of people who seek revenge do it for a specific reason: they feel pain. A desire to make the other person feel pain is at the root of their actions. Even the woeful vengeance type will harbor a secret desire to get back at the person that wronged them in some small way. Human nature tells us that if we intentionally wrong someone, we should watch our backs. It's the same in a story. If your character does a dirty deed, they should be careful. If they aren't, they'll be naive in nature.

You can use this in character development for both the revenge seeker and any companions he/she may have. Lessons in how people react to situations go a long way in showing your reader just how a character can change from page 1 to page 400.

Question of the day: Have you ever experienced a revenge seeker? Have you ever been one? What type were they/you?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Human Nature - Holding a Grudge

Happy Tuesday, good people of the blogosphere! This week I'm going to be discussing a few different facets of human nature as they relate to characters and writing. See the quick schedule below:

• The Love Affair
• Holding a Grudge
• Seeking Revenge
• Situation Reaction
• Thought Processes

Day 2 is here so let's talk about Holding a Grudge. Grab your paper and pens and let's get going!

When we are wronged in some way, it tends to stick with us for a long period of time. Humans aren't equipped to deal with betrayal when someone has our perfect trust unless we work very hard at it. It makes us angry and, sometimes, we hold on to that anger far longer than we should. Letting go is an art form. This should happen the same way with your character. Remember to be true to life first.

If you have immortal characters, holding a grudge can be a good way to move toward Seeking Revenge. However, you can use a grudge from a betrayal to help your reader get a better sense of your character's personality. There are three basic types of characterization here:

1. Never Letting it Go - These people can't get over even the smallest slight that's done to them by anyone. They allow hurts and betrayals to fester and boil. It destroys friendships, families, and possibly entire worlds in its wake. Pain is taken to a bitter place and makes the person ugly on the inside. But, on the bright side, this person is an honest one who refuses to lie about how people make them feel. On the dark side, it usually leads to Seeking Revenge and the character never trusting another person. Ever.
2. Pretending to Let it Go - People who pretend to let it go but don't really are the ones most commonly found. Most people don't want anyone to know they hold the grudge so will pretend like the act of betrayal didn't bother them as much as it did. These are the people plotting a slow death via a sneak attack against whoever wronged them in the first place. They may still be friends with the person who did them wrong; but it's all an act. It's almost impossible for them to forgive completely. Relationships with others become strained from this person's POV. Everyone else should believe things are fine. This person oftentimes also never trusts anyone else but they also never let on they feel that way.
3. Forgiving Completely - Complete forgiveness takes a special kind of person. These are ones who will try to see all sides of the picture and gather an understanding of why the wrong was done in the first place. Now, that's not to say this person will continue to be friends with the person who committed the wrong; it's just that they won't hold the hurt in their heart. There's no revenge plotting going on with this type of person; they just release the other into the wild and bid them adieu. This person will trust another blindly and will oftentimes end up hurt again down the road the same way. It's a vicious cycle.

All three of these types of people make great characters. If you use the first, you can create either a really evil character or one who is very honest. Perhaps they move on to Seeking Revenge, perhaps not. But it's that difference that will make or break the persona you create. When using the second, you're guaranteed to create a lying, backstabbing, vengeful character who grows bitter. Special characters should be reserved for those that you want to be good through and through. This is not to say they can't struggle with the decision. It also doesn't mean they can't start out as type one. Hell, it's a journey, right? Change them in that way.

You're the writer. These are all decisions you make as you write (or before you begin). Remember that in order to have a character who reacts appropriately to a situation, you first must have a deep understanding of every facet of their personality. You may change them along the way, but it needs to be part of the journey.

Question of the day: What's the most common type you've encountered?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo