Let's Stop Talking About Gun Control and Mental Health

Hello, good people of the blogosphere. Today, I'm going on a NSFW rant and providing a realistic action plan for those of you that are interested in being the change you want to see happen. Get your coffee ready, because... Well, you may be here a while.

Earlier this week, there was yet another shooting at a school, taking seventeen more young lives. Understandably, people are pissed. I'm pissed. I'm sure you're pissed.

Those seventeen lives were just beginning.

Those seventeen lives matter.

As of today, those seventeen join many, many more in a string of senseless MURDERS at SCHOOLS. Let's call them what they are.

School is a place my child should be safe. It's supposed to be the fucking government's responsibility to CARE for, and PROTECT my child when she's not with me.

But they're failing to do that.

Let's look at some 100% honesty right now:

• Shooter drills AREN'T WORKING (they were in place in Florida and activated - seventeen children STILL DIED).
• Americans will NEVER give up their guns, and the US will NEVER try to force its citizens to give up their guns.
• Most schools in the US are on a limited budget, hence metal detectors can't be afforded.
• A majority of kids aren't as supervised nowadays as they were even ten years ago by their parents.
• When kids see counselors at school, the kids aren't feeling heard (if they feel as though they can go to the counselor in the first place, that is).
• Guns are too accessible.
• Talking about mental illness and praying isn't doing DICK.

So, rather than scream at the media, march to show how you feel, or post a rant on Facebook about how GUNS ARE EVIL AND SHOULD BE DESTROYED, how about you do something in your own community?

ACT. Don't just talk about how pissed you are.

An action plan that just might work:

• Get involved. Go to the school and talk to the principal or the PTO person. Get all the parents in your community together in a MANDATORY meeting. You don't show up? Your kid gets suspended until you attend a meeting. The worst thing the principal can say is no, and if he/she does that, ORGANIZE A MEETING OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL ON YOUR OWN. Don't fucking give up.
• Harsh? You BET YOUR ASS IT IS.
• But it's time to make people stand up and take responsibility for their own kids' actions. It's time to get them INVOLVED in preventing this shit from happening AGAIN.
• Involve local law enforcement. Have those wonderful folks in blue come in and teach child/gun safety to EVERY parent (that's what your meeting is about). In school or out of school, MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
• Hold a community fundraiser to buy trigger locks the officers can give away for free and use them to teach people how to use and how to keep firearms SAFE and out of the hands of our fucking kids!
• Have the counselor talk to the parents about recognizing signs of depression and thoughts of violence.
• Visit EVERY GUN STORE within a 30 mile radius of YOUR house, and ask them what THEY'RE doing to vet the people who come in to buy firearms. Demand change if need be. These stores have a responsibility to act in a way that makes the cities they sell guns in safer. 
• Ask local law enforcement to visit the stores regularly and do checks. FOLLOW UP.
• Do a fund raiser to help PAY for those metal detectors we ALL want so very badly.
• People will follow you. They're SCARED. And they have every right to be. Sometimes, people just need a leader with a loud, strong voice.

Don't talk about change. Be the change. Make the change happen.

If ONE person in every school district takes these safety matters into their own hands, that takes care of the whole US.

It just takes one person to make a difference.

This action plan won't be 100%, but it'll CERTAINLY reduce the likelihood of more of this shit happening a great deal.

Parents HAVE to be involved. Don't wait or depend on the government to do something.

DO SOMETHING.

I'll be doing something, because I refuse to sit by and let fear of sending my child to school be a chain around my damned neck. I want her to live, grow up to be whatever she wants, have the chance to fall in love, get married, and have children of her own.

I do NOT want some angry little bastard to get a bug up their ass and take her life before she's even begun to live it.

HELL NO. FUCK THAT.

Sorry for the language today. Y'all have anything to add?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Facing Facts - How Men are Pigs and Women are Delicate, Pristine Flowers

Happy Thursday, good people of the blogosphere! Today, I'm all about a discussion. I've read a couple of articles this week (and I saw a couple of FB posts) that have my brain ticking. I'm gonna talk about them, and I'm probably going to piss a lot of people off. Ready? Grab your coffee, or tea, and let's get going!

Okay, so on the heels of the #MeToo movement, I've seen a lot of posts from women (and a few men) and how things have happened with men. Don't get me wrong here, I'm 100% NOT saying anything about those victims or what they've been through (it's all quite horrifying); rather, this is a perspective from the female side of this blog post and a discussion about looking at ourselves. I'm also going to touch on the comments made on this post from Facebook because that matters, too.

Yes, ourselves.

Women. Powerful. Strong. Capable.

Sadly, we're also often complete hypocrites. I don't believe all men are pigs and all women are lily-white, innocent bystanders. On the contrary, I know women can be just as bad as men when it comes to thoughts and actions.

It's not often you run across a post from a man about being sexually assaulted by a woman, but it happens. A lot more than you may think. Most times, people assume the man has the same thoughts as the guy in the post referenced above.

But what if they don't?

What if a woman is acting in a way that makes a man uncomfortable? What if he feels the pressure to say yes even though what he wants to say is no?

I've seen men run from women, firsthand, because they were all over the guy and he was not into them. I've heard first-hand accounts from men who decided (at the last minute) they didn't want to have sex, and the woman they were with screamed, cried, and (sometimes) hit the guy for saying no.

Is that okay because the genders are reversed?

I've seen a group of married women groping a man (he was eating it up at the time), but also hear those same women complain about how their husbands look at other women.

But I have yet to hear from the men about all of this. Are they as ashamed as all those women were before the #MeToo movement started? According to the article referenced in the blog post, that seems to be exactly what it is.

If you say no, you're not a man.

I can hear you all saying how crazy this is. Of course guys want aggressive women, right? Actually, that's not the case most of the time. Yeah, there are shy guys who need a little coaxing out of their shells, but that doesn't give women the right to shove their tongues down his throat or grope him in public (or private if he's saying no).

But that's what most women have been ingrained with.

You have to be aggressive or you risk losing the man.

If you lose the man because you can't behave like a lady, so what? A man that's worth it will be there whether you're aggressive or not. You don't want a man to touch you unless you're into it, so don't assume a man wants you to touch him.

This brings me to the post on Facebook that's referenced above.

She's wearing an alluring outfit. That's going to get attention, no matter where you go or who you are. She's probably aware of that. What she's not doing is giving consent for sexual acts by dressing that way. Is she aware men will look at her? Uh, yeah. Does she have to put up with men touching her? Should she expect that? Absolutely not.

Men are not creatures that cannot control themselves when presented with an alluring, scantily-clad woman.

On the contrary, men think and can be taught. Just like women. No, ladies, guys don't want you pawing them. Look all you want, but don't touch unless given permission.

Sadly, sex sells. Just look at the covers of romance novels. They don't even have to be erotica. We, as women, flock to these books because of the attractive male bodies on the front. Now, I want you to think about something:

Would you be okay with your husband ogling a half-naked (or fully nude) woman?

Most women (and there are exceptions to this, as there are with everything--you can't make blanket statements, and I get that) aren't okay with that. These actions are where the hypocrisy comes in. Those women want to be able to do it, but they don't want their husbands doing it.

That's not the way any of this works.

It's never "do as I say and not as I do." If you want someone to do something, you need to be 100% willing to do the same thing. Never ask something of another person that you're not willing to do yourself. This goes for both genders.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Period. It's not a difficult concept. Act with integrity always. ALWAYS. Seems so simple, yet it also seems such a foreign concept for so many people. *sigh*

Personally, I'd like to hear the mens' stories, too. I know they exist because I've heard them first hand. I haven't seen more than a couple handfuls on social media (even when I search the hashtag). That guy in the post above makes a lot of sense, but he doesn't give a woman's perspective (because he can't--he's a man).

Like the men have been told: She needs you to force it on her because she secretly wants it.

Women have been told: He always wants it; you just need to put it in his face.

I mean, what? It's the truth, but dear me, how did we get to this place? What broke? How do we fix it?

I'm just over all the women screaming from the rooftops and not hearing a peep from the men. There needs to be change on all sides of the issue, not just one. Until we have HONEST, open dialogue, not a lot is going to be done.

How about it, guys? Wanna hit me with a story? Feel free to post without a name. I'll still click publish!

What do you ladies think? Have you witnessed things like this? Been part of them and now look back and have a question mark over your head? Tell me your story!

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Living in the Authorverse

Happy Tuesday, good people of the blogosphere! Is it Friday yet? Ha! Just kidding. We have four whole days of awesome ahead of us; keep it up! You're going to do great things this week! While you're here, why not read through my rambling post for a few minutes? I'm gonna talk about living in the authorverse; you know, that realm where all the writers dwell, silently waiting for their chance to jump into the spotlight in some way or another. These are things I've learned over the past six years. Ready? Grab a blankie, and let's get going!

1. Authors are a Rare Breed
Seriously, if you've never met one of these formidable creatures in real life, you're missing out. One minute they're shy and hiding in a corner, and the next minute they're blowing your mind with their knowledge base, talking to you like you've been chummy forever, and breaking out their (usually pretty bad) dance moves from the 80s. Of course, that outgoing behavior may be alcohol related, which brings me to my next item.

2. Authors are Prone to Drinking Massive Quantities
This is something I didn't know was a thing until I attended my first author conference. These ladies finally get out of the house, sans kids and husbands, and go all out. I watched someone literally fall all over herself (and the floor) that year. It's related to a taste of freedom, which brings me to my next item.

3. Authors are Chained to Their Laptops
I'm not kidding. Getting an author away from the computer is like prying a lollipop out of the hand of a toddler. Whoever referred to something easy by saying it's "like taking candy from a baby" has obviously never tried to take candy from a baby. Authors are the same way. Threaten their computer, and you may just get stabbed. This is because our laptops are literally the surrogate mothers of our children, the bearers of our blood, sweat, tears, and time stolen from our human families, which leads into item four.

4. Authors Treat Their Books like Babies
You've probably heard the term "My Book Baby," but did you ever wonder why people say that? Well, it takes nine months to grow a baby, and it takes nearly the same amount of time to write and publish a book (for most people). You care for it and feed it as it grows, clean it up, dress it properly, and then thrust it into the public eye for criticism. Can you imagine if someone took one look at your actual baby, turned to the crowd, and announced that it was the ugliest kid they'd ever seen? You'd be crushed. This is how a one-star review can feel, and it leads to item two on the list above. But when said author has nothing but three stars and up, it sometimes leads to item five, however, I've found that lots of praise isn't necessary to create this mindset.

5. Authors are Divas
Duh. They have to be. They're required to sing their own praises from dawn to dusk. No one is going to buy a book the author says sucks. I mean, if all authors were self-depreciating, this authorverse would be a very bleak place, indeed. So, we're a little stuck-up and demanding sometimes. You can't be told that you have to sing your own praises every day online but then must behave humbly in person. It doesn't work that way. I've never met an author who sold a book by calling themselves crappy writers. Just saying.

6. Authors are Spacey
Yeah, we really are. We blank out on people. Not because we want to be rude, see, but it's because we're all about the stories, and sometimes, inspiration or ideas hit us when we least expect them to. We're not ignoring you; we're plotting (yes, sometimes, it's your death as a character in the book, but it's fiction! Remember that. We don't really kill people [or do we?]) what will happen next in the story. Real life is hard on us, but we can interact! You just need a little patience (or some booze--see item two). You won't find spacey characters in our books, usually, because we like to write what we don't live. This leads me to the final item, number seven.

7. Authors are Normal People with Imaaaaaaaginations
Darn good imaginations! No, we didn't really fly a spaceship to Mars or engage in a threesome with the neighbor; but if we write it well enough so you believe we did, we've done our job! We're here to entertain you and make you feel as though what we wrote is believable and could actually happen. Don't assume we've done the things we've written about in our books or that our brains even work that way. Remember, we're stepping into the character's shoes for our novels, and we see and experience the world as they would if they were real. We don't have to actually take part in something to understand what it might be like.

So, if you meet an author in the wild, approach with a smile, tell them how excited you are to know about their books, excuse any blank outs or crazy behavior, don't assume our lives are the stories we tell, and try to remember that we're showing you, and talking about, our cherished children. We'd love it if you didn't call them trolls. With a megaphone. On national television.

This, my friends, is living in the authorverse. Know the rules. Be the exception!

Do you have anything to add?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Be Your Own Biggest Cheerleader

Today, I'm stepping up on my soapbox. Just for a minute, but read, and think about, what I write here. This may be a long post, so grab some coffee, settle in, and maybe take some notes. Let's get going!

I see so many people these days wondering if they're good enough, strong enough, or asking themselves if they can do it.

When you're asking yourself if you're good enough, what is it you're referring to? Let's start there and see if maybe your mindset can be altered. Just a little. That's all it'll take.

Am I Good Enough?

If you look at yourself in the mirror and ask this question, you're doing it all wrong. Instead, ask yourself: Am I the person I'm proud to be? Am I meeting my own expectations? If not, how can I change so I love who I am and can look at myself in the mirror, proud of what I see?

Why? Because you're the only one that truly matters. You need to be in love with yourself first. Love stems from respect, too. Have those two things, and you'll come to a place where what other people think of you doesn't matter, and it won't be because you believe yourself to be "above" them. You'll know that you're the absolute best version of yourself that you can be. If they don't understand that, it's really okay. Because you have yourself, and that's the one person that should believe in you no matter what.

If you're a writer, then write for yourself first. I know you're probably going to say that doesn't sell books, and you're right, but if you're in this business to sell a billion copies, you're doing it for the wrong reasons, and you'll end up quitting before you even get started. If you write for yourself first, you're always good enough, because you're the only critic that matters. This question will never be asked by you again. Sure, we want folks to enjoy our writing, and it's okay if that still makes you a little nervous, but don't put so much weight on it that a one star review ruins your whole day and ends up making you question yourself as a writer.

This goes back to: Put out the best version of your book that you can. Give yourself something to be proud of on all levels. If you love it and can stand behind it like you stand behind yourself, you'll be happy whether you sell zero copies or a thousand.

If you don't like something, CHANGE IT.

Am I Strong Enough?

Of course you are. You just have to want it badly enough and not depend on others to bail you out or do it for you (whatever IT may be). When I was in college, I had this amazing professor who changed the way I look at those who give excuses with a simple quote:

"If you want it badly enough, you'll find a way.

If not, you'll find an excuse."

That sums it up. Don't give up on yourself or your dreams. Not ever. If you can't make it happen alone, find someone to help you, but don't begrudge those who don't have the time or resources. Back up and try again. Don't be afraid of failing. In every failure, there's a nugget of golden wisdom you can use to help yourself in the future. Learn from your mistakes, and COVER YOUR OWN ASS beforehand. This, also, is a learned habit.

Yes, you're strong enough if you want to be. Most of all, don't be taken in by the excuses of others. If they wanted it badly enough, they would've made it happen. People will show you this. Be prepared to see, and be strong enough to walk away.

You're strong enough to hold yourself up, but you're not responsible for shouldering the burdens of others.

Can I Do It?

If you devote yourself to it, 100%, with no excuses along the way, you can do anything you put your mind to. Don't take no for an answer. Back up, regroup, and try a different path. Always be willing to morph and bend if you need to, but don't let folks walk all over you, and do NOT try the same thing in the same way and expect a different result. Eisenstein said it best:

If you do the same thing in the same way and expect a different result, that's the definition of insanity.

Don't be insane! Change something! Try again! Don't let anyone use the word can't in your presence. Be an advocate for the things you believe in.

Listen, life is going to throw you some serious curve balls along the way. It'll feed your doubt monster the cookies they love so they grow stronger and whisper louder in your ear, beating you down.

When you have a success, no matter how small it may seem, congratulate yourself. Pat yourself on the back, and be your own biggest cheerleader. Make it a big deal. You made that soup? Well, then, it's the best damned soup that'll ever be made. You learned a new skill or had a new idea? Celebrate that. Even if it's with yourself.

You don't need the validation of others; you only need the validation of the person that's been with you from the moment you were born and will be with you until the day you die: YOU. So, yes, you can do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm a work in progress, too, but I'm living every day by the words above and have been for years. Doubt creeps in, but learning how to combat it is half the battle, and I'm totally winning the war.

You're responsible for your own happiness, and you're NOT responsible for ANYone else's happiness. You also can't change them; they have to be willing to change themselves. Surround yourself with those that understand this and appreciate it, those upstanding people who are also happy, and be good to them.

The benefits to all these things will be unbelievably amazing.

Work hard, play hard, and find your love for yourself.

Do you ever fight with things like this? Got any nuggets of wisdom to share?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

The Metamorphosis of Indie and Trad Pubbed Books in 2017

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Today, my curious side has hold of me, and it's led me to ask of you something I've noticed myself. If you're ready for some thought-provoking, grab some coffee (or tea or whatever), and let's get going.

As you may know, I've been doing a lot of tangible book reading lately. Simply put, they were easy for me to read and not be distracted by texts or any manner of other things work related coming through. Silence is, in fact, golden. Plus, my MS crazy eyes seem to like print more than digital. Go figure.

Anyway, in preparation for that trip I went on, I moseyed into a bookstore and bought a couple of trad pubbed reads. Okay, it was a bunch, but that's neither here nor there. Now, I also snagged an Indie book while I was on my buying tear. Here's a shot of the trad pubbed books I snagged (my Indie title hadn't come in yet):

Also in my big pile was The Circle, but I bought it on the previous trip, so it wasn't pictured in my haul for that day. I read Keeper of Crows by Casey L. Bond when it first released, and I ordered Keeper of Souls from her because I was invested in the story and wanted more. First book was amazing. Second one was scheduled to be read while I was traveling. It DID come in before I left, so that was awesome.

Before I started thinking about what books I'd bring, I'd blazed through Red Queen and the little novella from that series, Cruel Crown, so I got (what I thought were) the last two in that series as well.

I took my pile of books and hit the road (yay)!

First up was Vitro. I was super interested in the premise of the story, but put it down several times because the editing was so very bad.

While waiting on the courage to pick it back up and try again, I read some of Glass Sword. I bumped into a couple of inconsistencies in that book that had me rolling my eyes, so I went back to Vitro and finished it.

Then, I moved on to Keeper of Souls (which I read in about 8 hours and ADORED).

Because I was annoyed with the Red Queen series, I went on to try The Circle. That title was abandoned for.e.ver after just fifty pages or so. Back to Glass Sword I went, and I finished it and King's Cage (laborious reading right there), and that ending had me throwing the book on the damned floor. I found out only later there's another one in the works (I mean, REALLY?).

I'm nervous to even crack the cover on The Diabolic because of the quality of the other trad pubbed books I've gotten hold of. I love the cover so much...

Anyway, all this reading caused me to stop and ponder. Why did the Indie book breeze by while I plodded and struggled through the trad pubbed options?

While on the phone with my bestie and writing/business partner, Tia, today, she mentioned that she thought trad pubbed books have declined in quality because they're rushing to press. Why? In order to keep up with the Indie market.

Indie authors are publishing books at an astronomical rate, and their quality has jumped ahead by leaps and bounds over the last few years. Meanwhile, trad pubbed books seem to be getting worse (if you MUST have an example of the kinds of things I found, I'll dig them up, but this isn't me being nitpicky, I swear).

Are Indies getting better because we've become more educated about what we should and shouldn't publish? Or, perhaps it's the rise of Indie run and Indie focused editing houses (like IBGW) that are making the difference?

This leads me to open the floor to you all.

Have you noticed the change? What book(s) did it for you? What do you think is causing the shift?

If you think I'm just crazy, feel free to tell me that, too.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Integrity

Happy Monday, everyone! Today, I'm gonna talk a little about integrity. It's something I'm finding a lot of author service providers (and authors, sadly) don't take seriously enough. Ready? Let's get going!

in·teg·ri·ty

/inˈteɡrədē/

noun

1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

2. the state of being whole and undivided.

Having integrity as an author service provider means you work with a contract, don't ignore your clients when they try to contact you, and that you're 100% honest when something is going on and you feel you either can't or won't finish a job you said you'd do. It means working with transparency, being open about what's going on in your life that may impact your performance, and not letting folks find things out via third parties.

Having integrity as an author means you show up when you say you will with no one needing to be on your butt about where that "somewhere" is, or what time you said you'd appear, making sure you're aware. Don't cancel on people at the last moment unless it TRULY can't be helped. If you're unsure of a time or place, double check with the event coordinator. People plan around you; don't make them regret it.

Having integrity as an event coordinator means you don't cancel things at the last minute and/or run off with people's money. This is such bad form. Not only will it ruin your career, it'll ruin your life. Having to hide on social media outlets (or, for some here lately, in their hometowns) isn't any way to be. Open honesty is the only way you get through any of these things.

Because of recent things happening in the author world, we're losing trust in people in our community. This needs to stop. Your name is your everything. Hold it to the highest possible standard.

If someone has a bad experience with you, they're gonna tell everyone they meet. Do everything you can to be sure that doesn't happen. You only want the rumor mill filled with positive things.

It's out of control. Let's work together to get it back on track.

Was there ever a time when you had an issue from any of these things? How do you handle your author integrity? Please, no calling anyone out. Be civil. Have integrity here.

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

The Term "Housewife" and What We Need to Add

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Today, I have some inner-musings about words for you all. There's your fair warning; you're about to read an opinion piece. But bear with me, and maybe (just maybe) you'll get a chuckle and your brain will churn. Ready? Grab that cup of Jo and let's get going!

Starting off with why I began down this line of thought.

This morning, I say to The Best Husband in the World, "You may have married the best housewife on the planet."
He says, "I know I did."
It made me smile. Then, it made me think about the term "housewife."

Here's the definition from Google: a married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework.

Okay. There are women out there who want that to be their only occupation, and it's perfectly acceptable. Please note: I'm NOT bashing housewives. I think everyone should do precisely what makes them happy. 

So, being me (slightly neurotic and curious from head to toe), I did a Google search on another term: Working Housewife.

I gasped at the results. There's no such term! My heart stopped, and I glared at my iPhone screen. Not only is every housewife on the planet a working one, their jobs are often thankless. Still, you have those women who excel at running a household and managing a career.

What I found were articles like: Perfect 50s Housewife Myth Busted. Do You Want to Have a Working Wife or a Housewife? Is it Better to Have a Working Wife or Housewife When Raising Kids?

How dare they? What the hell is the world coming to? Was there crack involved in the writing of these articles?

Because, I assure you, there is such a thing as a Working Housewife.

Then, I reconsidered (because that's what we do when we try to make sense of something nonsensical and we're about to have a stroke), and I tore apart the definition, thinking of this part separately: Main Occupation--means that's what you consider your primary job.

I pondered. I struggled. I chewed my nails. Then, I did a search for the term "working." Here's what I got: having paid employment.

Paid. So one must be paid in order to be considered working. Need I tell you how, at that point, I really got my panties in a twist? Because I did. My knickers were wound so tightly, I was positive I'd start sneezing cotton any minute.

Ho.Lee.Crap.

My blood pressure rising, my extremities tingling as the elastic tightened, I backtracked. Here's the definition of the noun: the action of doing work.

Slowly, my underwear released their restriction on my legs, and I was able to breathe again. I can guarantee every man on the planet would have kittens if their work in the yard or around the house wasn't considered work. While I still wasn't happy, I wondered if people actually considered a new term.

Now, I know a great number of women who do a great many things (from home) while taking care of their families. They manage to work from home, their houses and kids are clean, they pay all the bills, and they even manage (somehow) to cook a healthy meal most days.

Let's look at me! I do all of the above and run more than one business. I consider myself a housewife, but according to the definition, I'm not.

Because of the definition, I don't qualify. Neither do any of those other women I mentioned above.

I stand on my soapbox, teetering from one foot to the other, and hold up my sign today!

Redefine your preconceived notions!

We work. We're housewives (or housewomen). And there's nothing wrong with that. But I think we need a new definition.

Working Housewoman: a woman whose occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs,  doing housework, and working from home.

My face is back to its usual color (I think), so I leave you with a question:
If you're a working housewoman, what do you do besides family?

I hope you got a little chuckle out of my predicament, and I hope you found my new definition suitable.

How would you change it?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

Authors Reviewing Authors - Warning: Opinion Piece Ahead!

Happy Thursday, everyone! Today, I'm going to talk about a hot-button topic I've seen floating around Facebook and give you my two cents on the issue. I may make you angry, or I may make you think. Either way, know this is just one person's opinion. We all have them, and you know what they say about that. Fair warning. If you don't think you'd like to hear mine, feel free to stop reading (I'll be okay).

For those of you still with me, brace yourselves.

Amazon's ToS says you're not allowed to review competing products. For authors, that means you're not supposed to review books on Amazon.

Well, I wonder if anyone considered that most authors were readers long before they became writers. In my humble opinion, this is one way Amazon uses to be able to remove sock puppet reviews with zero backlash. If someone goes to the site and slams a ton of books that aren't theirs into the ether, Amazon can remove them and point to their ToS as reason.

Okay, I get that. I can even get behind it because it makes sense. You don't post a crappy review on a book just to drag it down in the ranks so yours can shine.

Someone said, "Authors reviewing authors is unprofessional. Once we've written books, we can't appreciate books like we used to."

It's this I have an issue with.

You see, I'm an author and editor, and I can still read a book where I get totally lost in the scenarios, characters, and world.

Do I see errors more prominently now? Yes, I do.

Does that ruin the story for me? Nope.

Does that mean I don't make the mistakes I see? Nope.

I understand books won't be error free. Hell, most trade published books have errors. But as a person, I'm allowed to be bothered and voice my opinion.

I don't take ARC copies for review. When something happens and I either end up not being able to read and review the book or I don't like it, I feel terrible about it. I decided long ago to only take books for review once a year, in December, during my big event, and I buy each and every one I choose (yeah, I like having the little "Amazon Verified Purchase" thing on my review).

I refuse to rate a book less than three stars. Why? Because anything less than that and I don't finish reading the book. How can I review something I haven't read all of? If it kept my interest to the last page, it deserves more than two stars. That, in and of itself, is worthy of three stars.

Professionalism denotes I contact the author privately (if I choose to do so) if I find a gross number of errors, not me going into the realm of internet and slamming the title (though I'd be within my rights to do so). If I just didn't like the story? Well, then it's up to me as a reader to stop reading the title and let it go. If the author asks, I'll tell them. If not, I don't lose sleep over it.

I do think we all need boundaries of what we will and won't do.

Here's the crux of the issue: Would I say something in my review that I wouldn't say to the author directly? Absolutely not. If I read a book and have a thought, I'd be willing to discuss the why and where with the author all day. Again, that doesn't mean I don't make the same mistakes, it means it's easier to see errors in someone else's work than it is my own. This is why we have beta-readers and book reviewers. If we won't be honest, who will be?

Let me be transparent with you all for a moment. If I didn't write book reviews, or hold my blog's big review request event each year, how many of you would lose out? What is it you'd be losing?

If authors didn't review books, how many reviews do you really think there would be?

I've been reading since I was very young. I took weekly trips to the library beginning at age six, and I devoured up to ten books a week. When I realized I could help others find great books by providing feedback in the form of a review, I jumped at the chance to do so. As a bonus, this helps the authors find readers and increase their review numbers.

How many people pay for a review? Why do they do that? Well, because reviews matter. Those paid ones aren't even guaranteed to be positive.

Not everyone is going to love every book--that's nonsensical. But for anyone to tell me I shouldn't be writing reviews because I write books is also nonsensical. Could I burn a bridge or two? Yes, I could. But anyone who takes my review and turns it negative won't be back to ask for another one anyway, right? Could they troll my books? Yes, they could.

Will that stop me? Nope.

Why? Because I feel I've done more good than harm, and trolls are easy to spot (readers can tell).

Here are most of my reviews. To date, I've published almost 100 on Amazon.

If I can't be professional about a negative review as much as I am about a positive one, I'm in the wrong business.

It all boils down to this: I'm a person who loves books. I'll continue to do what I did (recommend books to other people), before the internet existed and before I became an author, until I can no longer type. No one will come between me and my books. Amazon kicks me off? Okay. I have a blog. Blogger shuts me down? Well, I'll go elsewhere. Either way, my reviews aren't going anywhere, and no one should expect them to or tell me I'm in the wrong. Making a blanket statement that calls reviewers who are also authors unprofessional... Well, it's unprofessional.

"Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, but no one really wants to hear them."

After all, a love of books and storytelling is why we all started writing, isn't it?

How many book bloggers have become authors later on? Does that make all the reviews they've written and plan to continue to write obsolete?

Is it fair of me to expect other people to review my books if I'm not out there writing reviews for someone else and paying it forward?

Get in here and give me your opinion. Just remember to play nice.

If I didn't do my event each year, what would you miss? If I quit writing reviews, what would you miss? Would you care? Why? What have you gained?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo

UtopYA Mindset: Lift as You Climb

Happy Monday, good people of the blogosphere! Today, I'm gonna discuss the heart and soul of UtopYA con. It's something you can feel in the air when you're surrounded by the people who attend, and something I believe in with every fiber of my being. Grab your coffee and a comfy chair and let's get going!

Lift as You Climb

As a saying, this is pretty easy to understand, right? As you move your booty up a mountain, you pull the people trailing you up, too. Why? What's the point? If you've worked your arse off to reach those heights, have the mad skills to do it quickly, and are on the top of your game, why should you help others and/or not step on them or cut them loose?

Imagine this:

You start at the foot of the mountain with fifty friends. Your confidence is high and you begin your climb. Thirty people stay on the ground because they're afraid to fail or fall. There's no time to go back and support any of them or talk them through how to begin.

So, you and twenty are now on your way.

You're climbing, dangling, sweating like a pig, but you pull into the lead. You're laughing, talking, having fun with your friends. Way back in the back, five folks are falling behind. Five behind you stop to pull those people forward so you don't bother. Who has time to pause and give advice?

Still, you're in the lead and only ten people are anywhere near you. A little over halfway, and you're feeling pretty awesome. You chance a look back and see the people on the ground having a cookout, eating steak, having a drink, and laughing together. Sweat drips into your eyes and stings. But you're still in the lead, so you press on.

Someone behind you slips and is dangling from the people above. Those folks stop, throw ropes, drop anchors into the rock face, and proceed to haul that dangler up. However, one person is determined to pass you. (S)He closes in, causing you to regain your focus and resume your climb.

Faster you both go until the unthinkable happens, and you get passed. You sneer, snarl, and start sweating again as you pick up the already unbelievable pace you've set. Sheer will allows you to pass that person. They stumble and slide backward, almost to the mid-point of the climb. Why? Because they asked for your hand and you didn't give it to them when they needed it.

A few more feet and you'll be at the top. You strain, push, give it your all, and arrive with a puffed up chest, exhausted muscles, and the title: best of the best.

But you're all alone. You pace, you peer down from the edge, and you pick your teeth with your nails while you wait.

One by one, the others begin to trickle up to the top with you. This is when the strangest thing happens: They lean over and pull others up, helping them to make it that last few feet.

You walk over and try to shake hands. But no one will talk to you. Though you're surrounded with people who began as your friends, you're now a stranger to them. Those slights of not taking the time to help, rescue them when they needed it, or plant an anchor to give them a chance are remembered.

What did they arrive at the top with? Camaraderie. Friendship. Trust in one another. Willingness to help and to be helped.

Eventually, you go back to the bottom and home. After all, there's no reason to stay if you have none of the above, right?

While you may remain King or Queen of the mountain climb forever, you didn't pay your knowledge forward and lost out on what you could've had.

That person you didn't give a hand to? (S)He goes on to party and climb with these people regularly, is well liked, and enjoys success along with those others who helped and were helped.

~

Do you get the idea?

Even though you have what it takes to get to the top alone, if you don't help others along the way, what will that success get you besides infamy (and infamy for what)?

I love this idea. It reeks of everything I hold near and dear. There may be people out there I've pissed off along the way with my opinions or openness, but there are far more who I've helped avoid mistakes by speaking out. If I have it or know it, I'm willing to share it.

At UtopYA, you find most people are of the lift as you climb mentality. It's an awesome conference and atmosphere I thrive in. You probably would, too.

What do you think? Have you experienced either being left behind or being the one on top?

Well, that's all for today, folks! Until next time, WRITE ON!

Jo